one way or another

Charlie

Look at our new baby :-)

posted by heleen + rod @ 8:09 PM 1 comments

Reality check

Last weekend I met a woman with twins. We talked and with almost anything we said the other replied with 'ME TOO!' We're even born only two days apart. Her twins (a boy and a girl) are 5 months old, conceived with IVF, born with a C-section. Big difference: she struggled with her infertility for 13 years, for me it was just one year. She said: Not having children simply wasn't an option. All these years she knew one day she'd have them. And she did!

Yesterday I went over to her place to see her and the twins at home. Her house was so clean and tidy! Just amazing! The twins were very sweet. I gave her boy a bottle and he felt so warm and relaxed and happy. We talked about all sorts of things. Infertility, IVF, pregnanacy, birth, antenatal class, babies.

The babes were quite hypnotic. I must have been there for hours. I was wondering if she is lonely, sitting at home with the babies with her man out for work. Babies 24/7 for always and ever. Day and night. A strange mix of feelings came over me in the car on the way back. How will my life be, how will I be, how will we be once the babies have arrived? These are the last weeks of me being my old me. Life the way it was will never come back.

Change can be scary. The unknown can be scary. I have little moments I am truly scared now I am preparing for the reality in stead of just living in a dream.

posted by heleen + rod @ 10:47 AM 1 comments

More gloom

The second antenatal class was more informative, but seemed at stages a long ad for pain relief. As the doctors want to monitor your babies you have to lie on your back, and when you lie on your back you need pain relief. So an epidural seems the way to go. On top of that they don't want you to feel too tired and worn out afterwards because you have to start breastfeeding and stuff. (How did our mothers do that?)

We watched a video with a smiling woman telling she was getting a bit uncomfortable during labour, so she'd been so happy with the epidural!

I have to talk about this with my OB, cause I seriously want to give it a go and at least try to do it the natural way, seriously. I think you really need the pain, and the endorphines more than being comfortable.

Maybe I'll talk differently later, but at this moment, this is how I feel about it very strongly. I hope I don't have to fight to make my point clear to the medical people. I'd rather have them tell me 'You're doing great and pain is just a part of the job' than 'It's your own silly choice wanting to have pain and it doesn't make our jobs easier either'...

posted by heleen + rod @ 9:55 AM 0 comments

Antenatal crash course

Yesterday I went to my first antenatal class. In my class three other women. One very pale and tired looking lady expecting triplets (all boys) of 28 weeks. Two women pregnant with both girl twins around 30 weeks. Naturally they were all so much bigger than me! And they were sighing and rubbing their bellies. Two husbands were present. They didn't say anything, the whole class.

Looking at the women I almost didn't feel pregnant at all. The 6 weeks difference is a huge difference...

The theme of the day was premature babies. Hardly relevant anymore fore the two 30+ week girls, but you never know. For the first time I felt worries. My image of having the babies might be too rosecoloured. I bought them two little hammocks last weekend, expecting that everything will be fine. That I'll wrap them in my mums quilts and walk out of the hospital a day after the delivery...

Apart from the bleak realisation that things could actually go majorly wrong, that I and/ or my babies might end up in hospital for quite a while and that we all could suffer from all kind of pains and disorders or even die, class was slightly boring. I'm really not an expert, and I've only read one or two books and browsed the web a bit, but I haven't heard much new stuff in this class so far.

Another class tonight. The 6 lessons are jammed in 3 weeks!

posted by heleen + rod @ 10:19 AM 0 comments

Most beautiful day

I feel truly blessed. Last Saturday I got married to the most wonderful man I know, my best friend, my lover, the one I want to grow old with. The sun was shining bright. Many amazing people came to share and celebrate this special day and enjoy with us the beautiful spot on this planet we call home now.

R and me arrived on our antique tractor down the hill to a circle we mowed in the grass where all our guests were waiting for us. My horses had flowers in their manes and were looking very surprised and curious by seeing all these people walking down the fields. The ceremony was lovely. I even managed to say my vows although I got very emotional saying 'you are my best friend'...

After the ceremony there was heaps of champagne in a wheelbarrow with ice and waterlillies and (how exciting) orange juice for me... After that an amazing meal on two long white tables with flowers in the field next to the barn. A lot of people made speeches, the sun set all pink and gold.

We made a big fire, lit torches and candles and then a great band starting playing till very late at night. Everybody was dancing and I heard so many times 'This is the best wedding we've ever been too'. We'll, I felt the same; the best wedding I've ever been too.

Next morning I think more than 35 people were still there, camping. So the party just continued where we stopped the night before, with breakfast and more drinks. And then everybody helped cleaning and tidying up. I can write about this weekend much much more (we even had real soap style nasty family drama), maybe I'll just post some more pictures....





P.S. About the babes
Went to the obstetrician today, babes' heart beats are very loud and clear and healthy. I'll be having another scan and checkup in 4 weeks time. Finally time to focus on being pregnant... My belly is as big as if I was 30 weeks with a singleton. No strechmarks so far thanks to my new husband's oil rubbing :-)

posted by heleen + rod @ 1:40 PM 5 comments