one way or another

Treating the ectopic (Nov 2004)

A wicked rollercoaster:
First the confusion of being pregnant or maybe not, or little bit. For a few days you think you are pregnant. Then you loose it. Trying to deal with the pain of the miscarriage. Finding out that you're still pregnant, or at least sort of. And then all of a sudden your mystery baby turns into something that is like a life treatening disease...

In the afternoon I was welcomed at the ER in a panicky sort of way and instantly got a IV popped in my arm. 'Just in case you need surgery'. I answered the same questions many many times. 36 years old, 7 weeks pregnant, HCG levels less than 500, no pain, no bleeding, not dizzy, no nausea, no shoulderpain, - I was just wondering what all the fuss was about really. The embryo couldn't be very big if you couldn't see it on a scan I'd say...

The good thing about this part of the world (NZ) is that emergencies and accidents are treated for free, for everybody. The downside of the public health is that you're lucky if your doctor speaks english and that everybody is very very busy.

Two gyns explained to me what a ectopic is and how to get rid of it. And that I had two options: operating and loosing the right tube or chemo therapy. Methodrexate makes fast growing cells stop multiplying and so my minibaby would die. Ok, I'll have the chemo....

The doctor and I didn't get along very well. I was sad, grumpy, depressed, stressed and in a hurry to get it over with. He was very unpleasant as well. We ended up in an argument that he said he had to examine me and that I said I had enough examinations that day. I just didn't want the grubby guy to touch me. YUCK!

At 11 pm they were finally ready to give me the injection. The gyn came back, completely dressed in protecting clothing, including some kind of space mask. He was standing there with raised needle, repeating once more I could't have unprotected sex for three months. Ok, just give me the fucking injection will you!

When we left the hospital was asleep. It took a while before we found someone to take the drip out of my arm.

posted by heleen + rod @ 9:25 AM